If you read this blog regularly or know my son personally, this will not come as a big surprise. He is of the anxious type. I am confident that he was born with deep, deep thoughts. He has always been wise beyond his years.
Several years ago, he went through a period of time when he was over-the-top anxious. He was consumed and paralyzed by irrational fears. Scott and I researched, discussed, blamed, questioned, participated in constant dialogue, and cried out to God. I was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I was convinced that I was the wrong choice of mothers for this precious boy. My heart was broken. My child felt broken, and I was the only one to blame.
While on my face before God one dreary evening, I heard His voice. He lovingly said, "Michelle, this is something that you can't fix for Andrew. This is between Andrew and Me. I am the only one who can fix his brokenness."
I (his mother) am not his god. In times of heightened anxiety, I have learned to step back and direct Andrew to his Creator, the Lover of his soul. I learned to rest in the fact that God loves him even more. God is all that he needs. I am just a bonus.
This simple knowledge was a breakthrough for our family. Andrew has learned scripture to combat Satan's lies. He has learned to turn to God and trust in His promises.
A few words of encouragement for all the mommas on the front lines:
*God masterfully created your child with a purpose and chose you to be his /her mother.
*God gave each mother the strength and ability to train her children. God is confident in His choice.
*God doesn't make mistakes. Your child's weakness will in some way bring glory to God.
*God doesn't ask you to do this alone. He is always present. He is watching, guiding, and speaking. We just have to stop and listen.
Thank you God for your perfect, unfailing love for my children.
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