Sixty days..the exact number of days an adoptive family lives in absolute paralyzing fear.
The initial email from the agency asking us to consider having our profile shown to Janey included information on the birth father's position which wasn't in favor of the adoption plan. We were well aware of the risk involved with this particular adoption before even agreeing to be considered as a potential match.
After Janey selected our family, a number of conversations took place between Caleb's birth father (who I will refer to as Lance) and our case worker. Despite not being on board with the adoption plan, he didn't seek any legal action to prevent it.
The hospital's protocol involved notifying the birth father before we could leave the hospital with the baby. The hospital's social worker and our case worker contacted Lance a few short hours after Caleb was born. Being consistent with previous conversations, he adamantly shared that he was still not on board with Janey's adoption plan. We spent the next few days counting hours and minutes waiting for one of two things to happen...Lance to appear or discharge papers to be signed. There are absolutely no words to describe the anxiety taking up space in 2 hospital rooms.
Needless to say, we left the hospital with Caleb knowing that our hearts could be ripped out of our chests at any moment.
When Caleb was eleven days old, Lance resurfaced asking to view our profile book which was mailed immediately. We were scared. We waited. Forty seven days passed. Nothing.
On the afternoon of day 58, I received a phone call from a familiar number. Moments later, my heart was held together by a strand as our caseworker shared that Lance had requested to speak with us directly. Day 58. We had been celebrating only moments before the sound of my ring tone filled the air. Day 58. So close to 60, but yet so far away. Day 58. Less than 48 hours from the judge ending the matter with one word...abandonment. Reluctantly, we agreed to a phone conversation.
At this point, my heart was so hardened in response to this man...the one who stood between me and my precious Caleb. Praying and believing that God had a perfect plan was the only thing that held us together while we waited for the one phone call that could forever change the course of our lives and the life of our precious Caleb. We were once again absolutely powerless. Only this time the stakes were higher because he had spent close to 2 months being loved and treasured in our home by our family and friends.
The moment our phone rang, the nervous inappropriate laughter escaped. Shaking inside and out, we finally managed to answer, and the conversation began flowing immediately. In that very moment, he was no longer the monster that I had envisioned but a man..broken..hurting...full of love..with a story. Within a matter of a few seconds, a connection happened. We laughed. We answered hard questions. We offered assurance. The following words were spoken..."I think she made a great choice. I will sign the papers." We breathed.
On day 67, I posted the following on facebook.
We are the "official" legal guardians of this squish, and an adoption finalization hearing is scheduled for March 6. You guys...this is a really big deal! We Are going to celebrate with Casey's pizza, Coca Cola, and hopefully a nap.
I would like to report that the papers were signed, notarized, and returned promptly, but that wasn't the case.
One hundred and forty five days after Caleb was born, I made this post.
The adoption agency contacted us today to inform us that Caleb's birth father FINALLY sent his signed consent. After day 60, it wasn't much of a concern, but it was still a hallelujah moment. I also purchased his monogrammed stocking. One gigantic step closer to him being stuck with us forever. He is excited too.
Contact with Lance hasn't continued, but I do send a packet with a letter and pictures to the agency for him every 3 months this first year. Leaving this door open for Caleb is definitely a priority for us.
As I write this post exactly 2 weeks after our finalization hearing, I am still overwhelmed at God's presence in the midst of our counting. He is faithful. Hallelujah!
