Jax's First Shave

These photos are some of my all time favorites.  

It is often said that a photo speaks a thousand words.  

I think that holds true in this case. 

So Long Creepy Family Photo Lining Our Hallway

I bought 4 large frames for the hallway several months ago, and Scott ever so kindly hung them immediately.  It was kind-of creepy walking down the hallway with the same black and white photo of an unknown family lining the wall.

Starting with my easiest subjects to photograph was a given.  

 Andrew is incredibly cooperative and obedient, but photos aren't his thing.  He feels uncomfortable with any individualized attention even if it is coming from his mother.  Needless to say, his photos are usually awkward.  I worked really hard to create a comfortable atmosphere with little pressure, and it worked like a charm.

Then I was faced with my greatest photography challenge at this moment in time.  I tried capturing a beautiful photo of my absolutely adorable subject on multiple occasions.  Hundreds of blurry photos of an uncooperative 3 year old were taken, and then...I gave up and called this "good enough".

Thankfully, I have lived through this stage before, and I now recognize the value of this photo.

Sweet Memories {35}

I was looking through photos this morning and realized that it has been far too long since I uploaded the "simple" moments that I have captured.  Everyday life void of fancy clothes, parties, trips, and exploring our community is where the true memories happen.  

The ordinary moments that pass far too quickly...the ordinary moments that do not receive enough attention..the ordinary moments that are shaping my loves into the people that they were created to be...the ordinary moments when my heart is absolutely full of gratitude for this beautiful life that I am living...thanking God for the ordinary.

Jazzy Jolly Rancher Suckers...

Olivia creating her turtle SWAPS for her AHG celebration.  

Jaxson is 3!

On this very day three years ago, I found myself sitting in a dark, chilly hotel room struggling with a large number of "wonders".  

I wonder if we will be meeting our forever son in less than an hour.

I wonder if my heart will be shattered into a million pieces.

I wonder how I am going to love a frightened, brave woman in desperate need of unconditional love and acceptance from me.  .

I wonder how we will be treated by the hospital staff.

I wonder how we will be received by a family who is torn between the excitement of new life and the painful loss of adoption.

I wonder how our family and friends will REALLY respond to this new life.

I wonder if God REALLY knows the fear that plagues my heart.  

I wonder if open adoptions really work or is the idea just a fairy tale.

As I currently sit in our comfortable home staring at a beautiful 3 year old little boy, I am once again filled with a large number of "wonders". 

I wonder exactly how much joy this sweetie has brought into our home. 

I wonder how I ever lived without him.

I wonder at how much our family and friends REALLY love him.

I wonder at the fairy tale kind-of beauty that accurately describes  our open adoption and new extended family.

I wonder if God REALLY knows how truly thankful I am for this precious gift. 

Jaxson,

Your very existence is a true wonder, and you have taught me so very much.  You are our very own Boy Wonder.  (Robin doesn't stand a chance next to you.)

Happy Birfday Baby Boy!

Every super hero should have a daddy like this....

We celebrated our Boy Wonder on Sunday with a house full of family and friends.  He insisted upon having a Robin party (No Batman) which forced me to be creative.   Why Robin?  Jaxson is convinced that Robin only wears his underwear!   No worries.  We required all of our party guests to wear underwear AND pants.

Talent Show 2016

As this year's talent show approached, our family (Scott, Andrew, and Olivia) had mixed opinions about carrying on the family tradition of participating.  The weeks leading up to the big night were filled with a lot of business travel for Scott, and Andrew is beginning to care more about what his peers think of him.  I guess dressing up like a clown and performing a family skit is no longer the cool thing to do.  With all that said, Olivia pulled the "it is an established tradition card", and reluctantly everyone jumped on board.

 Unfortunately, Andrew was diagnosed with strep on the afternoon of the performance and was granted an acceptable excused absence from his sister. 

That night we realized that our participation is not only a family tradition but also a school tradition.  Everyone seems to enjoy watching our family stumble across the stage, crack ridiculous jokes, and make absolute fools of themselves.  Several even commented on the fact that they had wondered if Olivia would still fit into her green polka dot dress. Many were concerned that Andrew had officially become too old to carry on the tradition.  

I guess there will be a Holman family act in the annual talent show for at least the next 11 years.  

Olivia's fourth grade class performed the "Green Eggs and Ham Rap".  It was so much fun, and we were super proud of the star of the act.

This Is the Life (April 2016)

*We have now been living in our home 4 days shy of 6 months, and we are really starting to make it our own.  I have officially ran my fingers through the dirt, built a new flower bed, and planted familiar plants.  We have found ourselves running less and staying home more.  Woodpeckers, deer, squirrels, cardinals, and mice...oh my!

* I deleted my facebook account which was a really emotional decision for me.  Much to my surprise, I have never been happier and more content.  A sweet friend questioned my decision last week, and I expressed myself by saying, "I am now living the life that I choose.  I am not trying to mimic others or seek approval for my choices.  I am living an authentic, true to me life, and I am once again embracing all of the things that make me unique."

*Joey Feek died.  Unfortunately, I did not become a fan of this exceptional woman until cancer began destroying her body, but she influenced me in a way that I can't even begin to put into words.  In one of Rory's blog posts, he wrote, "She lettered in love."  When I pass into Heaven, I can only hope that my loved ones will be able to say the same about me.  I found out about Joey's passing while at the Grand Ole Opry.  It just seemed fitting.

*We have been matched for another adoption.  God is once again stretching me.  My hope is that I will be able to make a beautiful post introducing a healthy baby boy who we will have named Caleb Jesse soon.  With that said, there are far too many hurdles to jump before he will be ours to parent.  I almost wrote "ours to love", but we all already love him.  We always will.

*Scott has started putting together a new business plan.  He is incredibly excited about his new venture, and (surprisingly) I am too.  If I were asked to name the one who is enjoying our new home the most, Scott would without a doubt be my choice.

*Andrew has officially managed to pass the 5'7" mark on the growth chart hanging in our hallway.  Empty cupboards, stuffed lunch boxes, smelly room, acne products, basketball, lack of common sense, deep conversations, and a lot laughter are all phrases that accurately describe this season in his life.  I really struggled with the idea of having a teenager because I have never been too fond of them (even when I was one), but I am truly loving this age.  On the way to school one morning last week, he stated matter of fact, "Mom, if the NBA thing doesn't work out, I am going to be a goat farmer.  There you have it.  That is my life plan!"

*Olivia is still charming her teacher and beating all of the boys at knock out on a daily basis.  Every time I meet a new mother of one of the boys in her class, she always raises her eyebrows, smiles, and says, "We hear a lot about Olivia at our house."  The two of us have been reading the book, "Wonder", and it is deeply impacting both of us.  Through our tears, we have found ourselves discussing mature topics and praying that our attitudes towards others change.

*Jaxson's love of action figures has grown stronger as has his love of all things Frozen.  His current favorite is Wonder Woman (insert an Andrew eye roll).  His vocabulary is phenomenal, and he continues to do his best to keep up with the oldies.  Tuesday evening, Jax noticed the half moon.  He asked, "Who put the moon there?"  Scott responded, "God did."  Without missing a beat, Jax followed with, "God broke it in pieces?"

*Moving a city dog to the country has posed its fair share of problems.  Last month, Skipper was treated for tick fever.  Today, he is walking around on 3 legs.  Surgery is more than likely in his very near future.

Official Easter Photos 2016

We managed to get a few photos taken before church this Resurrection Sunday.

Jax insisted upon operating the camera's timer, and I love the sweet photo that resulted from his curiosity.  

The kiddos have learned that I always take a few shots to adjust the camera settings and lighting.  These photos often end up being some of my favorites, and they almost always cause me to laugh out loud.  This one was no exception.   



A Boy and His Blue Glasses

 

Aunt Jenn brought Jax a new pair of sunglasses on Sunday.  

 

He kind-of likes them. 

He kind-of thinks that he is something. 

We kind-of think that he something too.

 





Quiet Confirmation

Like most intentional mothers, I spend an incredible amount of time questioning my parenting.

 

Discipline, priorities, personalities, activities, free time, clothing choices, character building opportunities, strengths, weaknesses, friendships, nutrition, and education are just a few topics that I evaluate on a daily basis. 

 

Every once in a blue moon,  moments unfold before my eyes, and I receive the affirmation so desperately needed. 

 

I experienced one of those moments on Sunday.

 

There are still countless questions in my mind about how this open adoption is going to unfold.  I only hope and pray that Jax understands that every decision is made with his best interest in mind.

 

He will always know that he is adopted.  He will always know that I loved his birthmother, and that I still grieve her loss daily.  His birth family will always be given the opportunity to choose the relationship that they will have with him.  He will always have the chance to love these two special girls.  He will one day recognize the significance of this photo.  In my opinion,  God is already speaking the truth into his heart.  Some connections are just too evident to deny.

 

 

Thank you God for this precious moment.  I needed it.



As I sit here writing this post, the temperature is in the upper 70's.  It is hard to believe that the photos below were taken less than 7 short days ago. 

 

Photos of our first and hopefully last snowman of the winter

 



Fraidy Cat in Heaven

A few weeks ago, I was singing to Jax.

Everybody ought to know..

Everybody ought to know..

Everybody ought to know who Jesus is.

This led to my sharing the plan of salvation.  Of course, I really spent a lot of time describing Heaven.  I then proceed to ask Jax if he wanted to go to Heaven.  His eyes got as big as saucers and the most adorable smile filled his entire face.  Without hesitation, he responded, "YES!  I want to go get my Fraidy back!"

I do too buddy.  I do too.  

He assures me that the paw patrol characters go in the front.  Who am I to argue?

If Robin (from Batman) doesn't need pants, Jaxson doesn't need pants either.  Who am I to argue with that logic?